Templates
A series of templates for showing up
for the LGBTQ+ community.
Tips for advocacy, apologizing, and more.
Gently correcting others
Someone else used the wrong pronouns
I had a great time hanging out today!
Wanted to reach out to remind you that [name]’s pronouns are [pronouns]. Let me know if you need to practice sometimes. It took me a while to get it, too.
Someone else used the wrong name
Hey! Quick reminder that [name]’s name is really important to [pronouns]. I’m reaching out because [name] asked us to correct each other.
Self-correcting
Used the wrong pronouns
[Name] is new to the process, so it will take time for [wrong pronouns] to get up to speed. I mean [correct pronouns]. Did the financial reports come in yet?
Used the wrong name
[Wrong name] is starting drum lessons— I mean [correct name] is starting drum lessons soon. So, [pronouns] will be busy.
Why: For both previous examples, self-correcting and moving on is the best way not to draw more attention, shows you caught the mistake, role models for others what to do, and keeps the task at hand.
Folks who have changed their name and/or pronouns typically understand that others will need practice. Avoid over-apologizing or continuing to talk about it; that won’t help the situation.
Apologizing later
Used the wrong name/pronouns
I wanted to follow up on our meeting this morning. When I got home, I realized I used the wrong [name/pronouns] for you. Thanks for your patience as I continue to practice. Just wanted you to know I caught it and don’t expect you to correct me.
Works well as a quick text/email.
Several name/pronoun mistakes have occurred
[Name], do you have a moment to chat in private? It’s about how I’ve been showing up lately. I wanted to acknowledge that I haven’t been good about using your [name/pronouns]. I recognize that it doesn’t feel good for you when you hear that, and I am taking steps to be better about it. I appreciate your patience as I continue to practice.
Why: Most of the time, self-correcting and moving on is the best way to go. However, a thoughtful apology can go a long way if we've made a series of mistakes. Never promise it won’t happen again; we can’t promise something like that.