I’m releasing a new resource: the Pronoun and Name Mistake Flowchart.

This visual guide is about how to correct yourself and others. While this flowchart is oversimplified, I’m hoping it’ll be a valuable tool in educating everyone on how to self-correct and gently correct others. This does not account for all of the nuance explored in my training sessions. It’ll be important to introduce it to a new group with training and guidelines as part of a larger pronouns strategy.

How to use the flowchart

This flowchart does best in spaces where pronouns are normalized OR as part of a strategic rollout of pronouns being normalized. It will require explanation and works well alongside other tools like community agreements. Community agreements are the values/intentions we hold ourselves and each other to, such as one person speaking at a time or speaking from “I” statements. This flowchart resource is intentionally oversimplified to help folks figure out what to do at any given moment and will be revised over time.

Self-correcting

Sometimes, people aren’t sure what to do when they make a mistake. If we slip, it’s good for us to correct ourselves and move on. It lets the person know you caught yourself and role models for others what they should do in the same situation. Here’s an example:

Consent

When thinking about gently correcting others, it’s helpful to first have the consent of the person being misgendered or misnamed. When they shared their name and/or pronouns with you, did they give you permission to correct others? It’s totally OK to ask about this as a follow up question! Sometimes, it’s a welcome relief to take the burden of correcting others off of them. However, there are also people who don’t want you to correct others — or maybe they don’t want you to correct specific people, such as their family or a barista they may never see again.

You might be able to pull them aside in the moment and quietly ask, though try to be proactive and instead ask people ahead of time so you can be mindful of their boundaries and any exceptions.

Gently correcting others

If you have permission to correct others on behalf of the person who was misgendered or misnamed, consider how and when you might do this. Is this a company-wide meeting? Passionate speech? Team meeting? Classroom? Do others in that space know what pronouns are? Is the person in the room and maybe wants to do the correcting on their own? These kinds of questions may inform how you move forward, such as correcting in the moment, correcting someone after the fact, or private messaging the person.

More questions?

Want to learn more and get specific tips on correcting others? Not sure how to share pronouns or how to ask someone about theirs? If you’d like help rolling out pronouns in your space, consider hiring me as a consultant/trainer.